You Can Have a Happy Marriage

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Marriage is the first institution ordained by God. God created marriage to be an intimate lifelong relationship between a man and a woman. He created marriage before sin entered the picture. It was a part of His original, perfect design.

Because God created us in His image, we have an amazing capacity to enjoy intimate relationships. We were created to love and be loved, to connect with others on a deep level. But with the introduction of sin, relationships became more difficult. Sin kills everything it touches. It separated us from God and damaged our ability to enjoy close relationships with each other.

When sin entered the world, so did fear, shame and guilt. God’s beautiful creation was terribly marred, including the institution of marriage.

Mankind was separated from God. We could no longer enjoy close fellowship with Him. The first thing Adam and Eve did after sin entered the Garden was hide from God. Their intimacy with Him was broken. When God asked Adam about his sin he blamed Eve. Sin brings strife, division and separation.

As a result of sin a curse came upon the earth. You can read about it in Genesis 3. As part of this curse, God spoke over Eve,
“Your desire will be for your husband. And he will rule over you.” – Genesis 3:13

From that point on her desire would be towards her husband instead of God. And instead of serving each other in love, division was brought into their relationship. No longer would they enjoy a close partnership with a shared vision and goals. From now on there would be strife and competition over who was in charge.

This strife wasn’t part of God’s perfect plan for marriage, but a part of the curse that came upon all mankind as a result of sin.

Jesus Christ came to deliver us from sin and the curse it brought.

Galatians 3:13 says, “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: ‘Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.’”

Through His death and resurrection, Jesus made a way for us to once more walk in healthy relationships with Himself and each other. We no longer have to live in strife. We are new creations in Christ. We are no longer bound by sin or the curse it brings. Our homes can now be a place where we love and serve each other with a servant’s heart. Our marriages can be marked by love, mutual respect and a shared vision, the way God originally intended.

The choice is ours. Will we walk out of our old patterns and into the new life Christ offers us? Will we renew our minds in his Word? Will we seek love and resist strife? We can if we choose.

Marriage was never designed to be easy, even before the curse. It’s in close proximity to others that we are given the choice to grow and mature, to take on the nature of Christ. The good news is that now that’s actually a choice we can make. Before the cross, it wasn’t even possible. Jesus has given us the option. But it’s still always a choice to become like Christ. No one, including God, will make us.

If that is your desire, to become more like Christ and to enjoy what he has made possible for you through his sacrifice, the only way to make it a reality in your life is to die to your flesh, your sinful nature. That is the choice you must make.

If we decide to live out what Christ has purchased for us we must renew our minds in his truth and shed our old mindsets. We must walk with each other in a new way, according to the life-giving principles we find in God’s word. We must humble ourselves and let go of our own will in order to embrace God’s will for us. We must search the scriptures, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to discover the wisdom and truth they contain about godly marriage.

After 23 years of marriage and many hours studying the scriptures I believe that the couples who are happiest in marriage are those who have learned to forgive quickly and humbly serve each other. Forgiveness, humility and servanthood are godly principles that help us to foster trust and intimacy with each other. In the next four weeks we will look at the life-giving principles that make marriages strong. But first, we must believe that having a good godly marriage is within our reach.

Jesus said, “All things are possible to those who believe.” (Mark 9:23)

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