When God Calls You (But Your Husband Isn't on Board Yet)

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Some conversations aren’t easy to have. And today’s topic is one of those tender places—a topic I’ve wrestled with personally and hesitated to share publicly. But sometimes, when God brings something back to the surface, it’s because someone else needs the encouragement too.

So today, I want to talk about what happens when God calls you to something… but your husband isn’t on board yet.

When Your Reality Doesn’t Line Up With the Vision In Your Heart

Years ago, when my children were small, I had this beautiful vision of what I wanted our family life to look like.
I pictured us gathered together around the Bible, having deep, meaningful conversations about God.
I longed for our home to be a place where faith was nurtured naturally around the kitchen table and in the living room. I could see it so clearly in my mind—and I believed it was something God wanted for us too.

But when I shared my vision with my husband, expecting him to lead our family devotions with passion and consistency, it didn’t unfold the way I hoped.
The burden to do family devotions wasn’t burning on his heart the way it was burning on mine. He tried, because he loves me and loves our children. But it wasn’t his vision. It was mine.

And when he did try, I found myself critiquing how he did it—wanting him not just to lead, but to lead the way I thought he should.
It didn’t take long for frustration to creep in.

What I eventually realized was this:
The vision was mine because the calling was mine.
God had placed that desire in my heart to have daily devotions with my children—not so I could hand it off to husband, but so that I could step into it myself.

God’s Invitation to Step Out

At first, I resisted. I didn’t know how to lead family devotions. I was afraid of failing.
But God, in His kindness, kept gently inviting me:
“I asked you to do this.”

I was a stay-at-home mom at the time. I had the time. And most importantly, God had given me the green light.

When I finally surrendered and began leading simple, imperfect devotions with my children, God blessed it.
Was it always sweet and peaceful? No.
Were there moments when I closed the Bible with tears and frustration? Absolutely.
But over time, the steady rhythm of opening the Word together became a source of daily bread for our family.

It wasn’t about perfection. It was about obedience.
It was about saying yes to God—even when it didn’t look like the vision I originally had in mind.

When Your Heart Longs for More

This wasn’t the only time God asked me to step out in obedience without everything looking perfectly lined up.

When our first child was born, I had just stepped into a new career role—a promotion.
Then, almost immediately, I discovered I was pregnant. And suddenly, my heart shifted.

I wanted to be home.
The career I had worked so hard for paled in comparison to the desire to be with my children full-time.

But when I shared this with my husband, he wasn’t as enthused. He gently reminded me of the reality we were living:
We had debt, including my student loans.
We weren’t financially in a place where I could just quit.

It wasn’t that he didn’t value my heart. It was that he saw the bigger financial picture—and he was right.

Yet I wrestled.
There was a temptation to label him as the obstacle standing in the way of what God was asking of me.
But God taught me something precious in that season: Marriage is not me versus him. It’s us seeking God together.

We are partners.

And part of maturity in marriage is learning to trust God’s timing and provision, even when it means waiting.

God’s Plan Fits Both of You

One of the most beautiful truths I’ve come to treasure is this:
God can call me and my husband individually—and yet His plans are never in conflict.

He can give you a burning desire for something, and in time, He can speak to your husband’s heart too.

Just like He did with Mary and Joseph.

When God sent the angel to Mary, announcing His miraculous plan for her to carry and raise the Son of God, He didn’t consult Joseph first. He asked Mary.
Mary said yes to the call God placed on her life.
But Joseph wasn’t left out—God sent His message to Joseph too, in His time and in His way.

“But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.'” (Matthew 1:20, ESV)

The same God who spoke to Mary spoke to Joseph.
And He still does today.

Learning to Trust God’s Timing

There was another area where this played out in my life: homeschooling.
I felt called to homeschool long before my husband agreed.

Again, it was a burden God placed on my heart. And again, my husband wasn’t immediately on board.

At first, I tried to convince. I tried to reason.
But God showed me a better way:
Pray.
Surrender.
Trust Him to speak.

I had to lay down the desire—even the right, holy desire—and pray, “Lord, Your will be done. If this is truly from You, You can speak to his heart too.”

And in time, God did.

Not because I manipulated or pressured, but because God is faithful. Where He guides, He provides.

Four Lessons That Carried Me Through

If you find yourself in a similar season, here are four lessons that helped me—and might encourage you:

Pray without manipulating.
Pray honestly, but hold the outcome loosely. Ask for God’s will, not just your own way.
Don’t make your husband the enemy.
Your husband isn’t the obstacle. He’s your partner. Trust that God knows how to lead both of you.
Do what God has asked you to do.
If it’s something you can do without creating division (like starting family devotions on your own), do it faithfully.
Let God do the heavy lifting.
Trust God to speak in His timing and in His way. He knows how to reach hearts better than we do.

Trusting God with Your Story

Dear friend, if God is calling you to something and it feels lonely because your husband doesn’t see it yet, I want to encourage you:

You are not alone.
The God who called you is faithful.
He sees your heart.
He sees your longing.
And He can weave all things together in His perfect time.

So hold on to hope.
Be faithful to what He’s asked you to do.
Trust that the same God who speaks to you can speak to your husband too.

If this spoke to your heart today, I’d love to walk with you a little further.
Each week, I send out encouragement and resources for women seeking to grow in grace, faith, and truth.

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Let’s walk this journey together!

You are not forgotten. You are not unseen.
You are exactly where God can meet you.

With grace and truth,
Audrey

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