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Today Matters. The life you live today matters. The things you say, the love you share, the decisions you make today, they all matter. How you live your life today will not only affect your life but the lives of those you love, your family.
As a mom, I’ve often felt hidden, forgotten by the rest of the world, buried, out of sight. That’s what happens to seeds. God plants us in our homes so we can produce fruit for His Kingdom.
But in order to stay where He puts us and not abort the mission early we must believe that every day matters, even the days that don’t go as planned and the days that feel wasted. Every day is a gift from God, an opportunity to serve Him and grow right where we are.
Maybe it feels like no one sees or cares but the One who matters most is watching over you and your family. He will give you the grace to do all He has asked of you.
This week at church I was talking to a young friend who recently became a stay-at-home mom. She shared with me how different her life is now compared to just a few months ago. It’s so hard to judge a successful day as a SAHM. Does cleaning up messes all day count as a productive day?
When I was at home with two toddlers and a baby, I realized that I was just drifting from one day to the next without a clear plan in place. I often felt overwhelmed at the amount of work. I was disappointed in the way things were going. This wasn’t what I had in mind when I left my corporate job to raise my three young children. Nothing I ever planned seemed to work out the way I planned it. So many times I was frustrated because of the constant interruptions. So, after a while, I stopped trying. I thought, “Why bother? “ This wasn’t a conscious decision. I thought I was learning to go with the flow of homelife, but instead I was just being swept away by my lack of structure. I had given up on things being better. I thought this was just the way it was supposed to be.
But my desire to create a home where faith can grow in the hearts and minds of my children forced me to reevaluate the way I was spending my days and to admit my lack of structure was not helping me fulfill my vision for a God-inspired home. So I committed to getting a handle on the chaos around me, bringing my home and my life into some kind of order, even if it wasn’t perfect. This wasn’t easy. It still isn’t. Often it looks like I’m failing. But just having a plan in place, even if I diverge from the plan, is better than having no plan at all. With no plan I’m wandering aimlessly, being driven by one emergency or mess to another. It’s hard to get traction that way. And it’s impossible to build a God-sized vision without committing to a workable plan.
Let me share with you a few things that helped me shift from a frustrated, discouraged mom to a purpose driven mom with a vision of what God can do in a home dedicated to Him.
A Mindset Shift
The first step towards change was a mind-set shift. I had to believe that today, this day, matters.
The things I do today matter.
The things I say to myself and my family today matter.
The things I read, listen to, and watch today matter.
The decisions I make today matter.
The company I keep today matters.
The things I eat and drink today matter.
Even my attitude when I’m cleaning up messes, changing diapers and washing clothes, all these things matter.
One day I came to realize that this is the only life I’ve been given. So I decided I’m going to enjoy it, even if it’s not perfect, ideal or predictable. I’m not going to let it float away while complaining that it’s not the life I want.
What Does My Ideal Day Look Like?
The second step was to determine what my days would look like in a perfect world. If everyone cooperated, if I had enough time and energy to do all the things, what would that day look like?
What would the flow of a “successful” day be?
What things are most important?
How would I organize my day if I knew everything would go according to plan?
That’s the day we should be aiming for, even if we never reach it.
Make a Morning and Evening Routine
Next, I made a list of what I want my mornings to look like and how I want them to feel. “Ok, I’m up. Now what?”
Then I made a list of what I wanted my evenings to look like and how I want to spend them.
I went a step further and I listed out my ideal week. I allowed myself to get excited about the idea of trading chaos for order.
Plan the Day
My final step was planning the next day. What appointments do I have? What phone calls do I need to make? What bills do I need to pay? What will we have for dinner?
Now I had a plan. Just having a plan brought me a sense of rest. So what if it doesn’t go according to plan? So what if I have a million interruptions? At least I have a plan to return after the interruptions, even if it’s the next day.
Refine over time
I had to refine my plan over time. Once I had a grip on the day, I expanded into planning the week and the month. But these were the baby steps I used to gain momentum and confidence.
I had to learn that what I can realistically accomplish in one day with 3 littles under foot is a lot less than I think I can when I’m planning, even on the best of days! I had to adjust the expectations I had put on myself. They were unrealistic. An unrealistic plan packed with too many things is very discouraging.
Give yourself grace
Sometimes I had to put the plan away as our day took a different turn. On those days I had to fight the temptation to beat myself up over not sticking with the plan. The plan, the morning and evening routines, the daily planner, these are tools to help you. It’s just a rail to keep you on track. But YOU are the boss.
Give yourself grace. Don’t use the plan to beat yourself with. I had to reframe my decisions to veer off the written plan as wisdom instead of failure. Wisdom is learning how to read what the current situation calls for and enjoy the moment, without giving into guilt.
Today I still use these tools in planning my days, weeks, and months. I’m not a naturally organized person. Too much rigid structure makes me want to rebel against the system! But these ideas are loose enough to allow me to flow in grace and still accomplish things in my life. They help me fulfill my responsibilities, feel in control of my life most days, and work towards accomplishing the things I believe God has asked of me.
God Bless!
© Audrey McCracken, 2024
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