5 Things Your Husband Needs From You

Today’s article is the third in a four part series on marriage. You can read the other articles in this series here:

Part 2: The Most Important Thing You Can Do For Your Marriage

Part 4: 5 Things Your Husband Needs From You

Marriage is good because God made it. He knows what we need. In marriage God has given us a friend, a partner, another person to do life with. What a precious gift. But as any married person knows, marriage is tough. It’s not easy when two people come together with the goal of becoming one.

There are many things I love about my husband but there are also many things about him that I would like to change. I can’t change him. I know because I’ve tried. It never works. I can’t change my husband but I can do things to help strengthen our relationship. I can show him that I’m committed to him and to our marriage.

Today I’m sharing five things your husband needs from you. I believe as you commit to meeting these needs for your husband that God will do a good work in your marriage. These five things will not solve every issue you ever face. But I believe meeting your husband’s needs in these five areas will help to move your marriage in the right direction. Even a healthy marriage has room to grow and become stronger.

Things don’t have to be perfect to be better. And any improvement we experience in our marriage gives us hope that more positive change is possible.

Your Husband Needs Your Prayers

One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is pray for your husband. He may not ask for your prayers but, believe me, he needs them. We have an enemy who hates marriage and will do anything he can to bring division into your home.

After 23 years of marriage I’ve discovered that praying for my husband is God’s way of dealing with my heart. Praying for him reminds me that he needs God’s grace just as much as I do and it helps me to love him in a deeper way. It’s hard to stay angry with someone when you’re consistently praying for them. Prayer brings God’s grace into your marriage and softens your heart towards your partner. I encourage you to commit to praying for your husband regularly. If you need help getting started, download this free resource: 7 Powerful Prayers to Pray Over Your Husband.

Your Husband Needs Your Respect

Your husband needs your respect and the Bible is very clear that we are to respect our husbands (Ephesians 5:33). I understand that sometimes your husband may do things that don’t seem worthy of respect. But don’t use his failures or shortcomings as an excuse to withhold your respect. You don’t want him to require you to earn his love before he gives it, do you? Please don’t make him earn your respect before you offer it to him. We all have a deep need for love and respect. Don’t use either of them as a means of getting your mate to act the way you want him to. Giving your husband respect is a gift to him and an offering of obedience to the Lord.

Your Husband Needs You to Believe the Best of Him

Your husband needs you to be his cheerleader. Of all the people in the world, your opinion means more to him than anyone else’s. If he knows you believe in him he will make it a goal to live up to your expectations and not disappoint you.

Let your attitude towards your husband be one of believing the best of him, believing his heart’s desire is to do right by his family and to be a good husband.

Remember why you married your husband, the qualities that made you fall in love with him. He’s still that person. For a season I wrote everyday in my journal three things I love and/or appreciate about my husband. This was a way of reminding myself to be thankful for him and to be mindful of his good qualities. Intentionally remind yourself of the things you love about your husband.

Your Husband Needs Your Encouragement

Don’t just think well of your husband, encourage him with your words. We all need encouragement. We live in a world that can be very discouraging. As we go out into the world we’re daily bombarded with doubts about our faith, our abilities, our worth and the value we bring. Often we strive hard to prove our worth because we doubt it ourselves. A little encouragement goes a long way.

In marriage we have a partner for life, someone to believe in us when no one else does, even ourselves. You have great influence over your husband and his thoughts about himself. Use that influence to encourage him in all the areas where he battles daily. Be his cheerleader, his friend, his advocate in a world of naysayers.

Let your words be seasoned with grace. Tell him the truth in love. Let your words to your husband be healing and encouraging. It will make a huge difference in the atmosphere of your home, your marriage and your own heart. Your encouraging words will draw him closer to you.

Your Husband Needs You to Set Him Up for Success, Not Failure

I’ll admit it, there have been times early in our marriage when I set my husband up for failure. I would hold him to my (unspoken) standard of acceptable behavior. And when he didn’t meet my expectations I would let him know my disappointment, sometimes with tears. Nothing can crush a husband’s desire to please his wife as much as her continual disappointment. After constantly feeling like a failure, he’ll eventually stop trying.

Sometimes I would be disappointed because he didn’t do the things I thought he should do for my birthday or our anniversary. I wouldn’t tell him what I wanted to do, I would just be disappointed that what he did wasn’t enough. I hope you’re more mature than I was.

It comes down to this question: Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? If I want to prove to him that he’s not as good of a husband as I am a wife, I can. But it will hurt our relationship in the process. I’ll never get the outcome I’m working for. It’s like fighting fire, with fire. You just get a bigger fire.

But If you start communicating honestly with him about what you want and need you can help him succeed at being a good husband. Stop expecting him to read your mind and being upset when he doesn’t. You’ll both be happier. Stop setting him up for failure and set him up for success.

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