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When I was a young Christian, in my 20s, I remember telling another woman that I wanted to become a woman of God, a woman of wisdom. She laughed in my face. I guess it was a strange thing for a young, single woman to say. And I was a little embarrassed. I’ve often felt like I’m a bit too much for some people. But as I think back, I stand by my statement. I do want to be a woman of wisdom, even if the world laughs at such a goal.
Becoming a wise woman is like seeking and collecting precious pearls of wisdom and hiding them in our hearts. As we collect and ponder our store of wisdom, we become women of wisdom. Godly wisdom is precious and priceless. The world can’t take it away from us. It helps us make good decisions, take the right paths, and see the world in ways those who don’t treasure wisdom will never understand.
Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. – Proverbs 4:5-7
In Matthew 24 Jesus’ disciples are asking Him when and how His earthly kingdom will be established. He told His disciples that no man nor angel, not even Himself, know the exact date and time of these events, only His Father in Heaven. He told them that day would come like a thief in the night, when they least expect it; so it’s important to be ready and stay ready for His return at all times.
In Matthew 25, Jesus shares with his disciples the Parable of the 10 Virgins to help them understand how they should live and prepare during the time between His departure and return.
In this parable Jesus tells the story of 10 virgins who were awaiting the arrival of a bridegroom so they could celebrate his new marriage. Jesus calls half of these women wise and half foolish.
I want to share with you seven characteristics I believe set these wise women apart from their foolish companions.
We need His wisdom as we strive to live a life that’s pleasing to Him while we wait expectantly for the day we see Him face-to-face.
The Parable of the 10 Virgins
In Matthew 25, ten women are looking forward to the arrival of the bridegroom. They all seem to have prepared for it. They’ve brought their lanterns and are waiting patiently for his arrival. But the bridegroom takes longer than they expect and eventually they all fall asleep. When they hear the trumpet sound announcing his arrival, they wake quickly and rush to trim their lanterns. But the oil in their lanterns is running low and five of them have not brought any extra oil. They ask the other five who did bring extra oil to share their oil but they refuse. Jesus calls these women wise. They object by saying if they share their oil there won’t be enough for any of them. Instead, they suggest those who have no oil go to the merchants and buy their own. While they are away buying more oil, the bridegroom arrives and the five wise women who had brought extra oil enter with Him to the celebration. When the foolish women return from the merchants with oil, they discover they have missed the bridegroom’s arrival and are locked out of the banquet.
Live Your Life for His “Well Done.”
One day we will stand before Jesus, either when we leave this earth and go to Him or when He returns for His church. Preparing for that day should influence everything we do in our lives. All our daily goals and aspirations should be viewed through this lens because on the day we stand before Him that’s the only thing that will matter.
The lanterns these ladies bring represent our soul, our inner being where Christ dwells. The oil is the presence of the Holy Spirit who helps us to shine the light of Christ in the world. So our goal is to keep our light burning for Christ by being filled with the power of the Holy Spirit until Christ’s return. All we do, our entire life’s mission, should be centered around this goal. Our life’s work, career, occupation, and how we spend our days are all ways of preparing for that meeting with our Lord. Jesus is the one we are working for and looking forward to seeing, not in fear or dread, but in love and faith.
Being ready for Jesus should be the ultimate goal of every Christian. Being faithful to the work He’s given us on Earth determines if we will hear those words from our Lord, “Well done, My good and faithful servant.”
It’s Going to Take Longer Than You Think It Will, You Can Count On It
This mama gig is exhausting. It’s not a sprint. It’s a marathon. When we decide to raise our children for God’s Kingdom we must prepare our minds that this is a race of endurance. It will take much more time than we imagined when we started out. It always does. That’s okay when we’ve committed ahead of time that this is what we’re called to do and we’ll complete it to the end. But preparing your mind is so important.
If we don’t think through our strategy and expectations before we begin when things take much longer than we expected we may give up on our ideals before we see the fruit of our labor. We’ll think something strange has happened to us. Somewhere we missed the road. Surely it doesn’t take all this! And we may give up before we finish the race.
It’s not those who start the race who succeed, but those who finish it. Anything worth doing always takes more time than we think it should or thought it would. It’s wise to remember that and prepare our minds that way before we start.
It’s Going to Cost More Than You Thought, Be Prepared to Pay the Price
These foolish women didn’t buy enough oil the first time so they had to go buy more. It cost more than they had originally planned to spend.
“How much will it cost me?” you might ask. Everything. It will cost you everything, your entire life.
And just when you think you’ve given everything, God will ask for something more you didn’t know you had.
So many times I thought I was at my end. I can’t clean up one more mess. I can’t referee one more argument. I can’t stand one more sleepless night. And, guess what? That’s exactly what was required. And I did it. And I didn’t die, at least not physically. And I was able to see that I could do a lot more than I thought I could, by His grace. And sometimes ugly things inside of me did come to the surface. And I had to deal with them. But the point is I did it even though I didn’t think I could. It cost so much more than I thought it would at the beginning. That’s why commitment to and trust in God are so important. They will keep us going long after we wanted to quit. We must prepare our minds with a commitment to obey God no matter what the cost. We must trust that He will not leave us or forsake us, even through all our nasty attitudes. He’s so good. He won’t let you down.
You may think everything is too high a price to pay to obey Jesus. But remember He gave everything for you. He’s not asking any more from you than He gave of Himself.
I promise you, though it cost you more than you were prepared to pay, it will be more than worth it in the end. It’s a bargain compared to eternity with Him. He gives us so much more in return than we could ever ask or imagine.
It’s Not Going To Look Like You Thought It Would Look
It’s not going to look like you thought it would look. Things rarely do. Decide now to deal with circumstances and situations the way they are, not the way you think they should be.
Yes, it’s important to start with a vision of what we want our home and motherhood journey to be like. Proverbs 29:18 says, “Without a vision the people perish, they cast off restraint.” A vision of what we are called to do as mothers gives us the motivation and determination to start well and finish well. And having a vision points us in the right direction, helps us make the right decisions.
But things almost never look like we thought they would when we started out. Actually, it sometimes looks like the opposite of what we imagined. And without a determination to hold on when our reality looks different than our vision, we are all tempted to feel like a failure, with no hope for success. And where there is no hope, there is no desire to continue on the journey. That’s when some mamas give up on their vision and give in to the strong current of culture.
You have hope, precious mama. Jesus is your hope.
“The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:24.
Faith is believing when you can’t see it. Faith is believing even when it looks completely opposite of what you expected. Have faith in God. Don’t give up on your ideals of raising your children to love Him. If He called you to raise these little ones for Him, and you stepped out in faith to obey that calling. He’s NOT going to leave you without hope or help. The temptation to compromise is real, but it’s a test of your faith, to purify it and make it stronger. If you can see it that way, and not give up, you will see the vision He has given you renewed and refined, and become more clear than ever. And eventually, brought to pass.
Rest Isn’t Optional, It’s Essential
I’ve heard teachers say the weakness of these five foolish women was their laziness because they were asleep when the bridegroom came. Shouldn’t they have been awake and waiting? But ALL ten of them were asleep when he arrived, even those Jesus commended as being wise. Rest is crucial, it’s not optional. This marathon of motherhood can’t be run in a day. It lasts many, many years, and learning to rest will serve you well over those years.
Burnout is real. We are running hard toward Jesus, determined to bring our children with us. Then one day we can’t run any longer. Our lack of rest has caught up with us and our bodies and minds refuse to go another mile. We can read books and blog posts about dealing with burnout, and listen to podcasts and YouTube videos about how to avoid it. But, when it’s all said and done, rest is the only cure for burnout, and making rest a regular part of your routine is how you prevent it.
Rest helps us reset our focus when it veers off of the mark. Rest helps us loosen up, and not be so uptight all of the time. Rest allows us to enjoy our families instead of enduring them. Rest reminds us of why we are doing the things we do in the first place. It brings our joy back and helps us be the kind of people our children want to be around and be like when they grow up.
A wise woman makes rest a regular part of her life, for the sake of her own health and her family’s.
Some Things You Can’t Give to Others
To become a wise woman we must learn that there are some things we can’t give to others. They must get them from the same place we got ours – Jesus.
It seems that motherhood is all about giving, giving, and giving, and then, giving some more. You know the feeling. So many people need you, are depending on you, pulling on you. all. the. time.
I remember when I had three children under the age of four. Sometimes I would go into my bedroom closet, shut the door, and stand there alone in the dark. Don’t judge me. I was desperate.
I would stand there for as long as I could before someone would knock on the door and I heard, “Mama, Mama? Are you in there, Mama?” It was never more than a minute or two. I just needed a second when no one needed me, no one could see me, no one was calling my name.
Our calling is one of constantly giving. So we must be constantly drawing from the One above, so we have something to give them.
But a wise woman knows what she can and can’t give. She knows she is limited on time and energy and must spend them well.
You are a gift from God to your family. Your resources are not unlimited, even though your source is. You can only hold so much oil at a time and then you have to be filled up again. That’s why we have to be constantly going to the feet of Jesus, to fill up again and again. If you continually give out to the wrong people you won’t have enough for the right ones.
I’ve found when I spread myself too thin, my patience is the first area where I feel it. I find myself working hard to be kind, patient, and helpful to those outside my home but I stop being kind, patient, and helpful to those inside my home. I gave my oil away.
Some people, even those you love dearly, will drain you. They don’t mean to. They see that you have oil because your light is shining. And they need oil so they are naturally drawn to you. They come to you for support, wisdom, comfort, and strength. It feels wonderful to be able to encourage and help others who need it. But sometimes we need to point people in the direction of Jesus.
Like the wise women of the parable, you must send them to the same place where you got your oil, not give them yours. We need to help them find the source for themselves. Jesus must be their source of strength – not you. He never runs out of oil – you do.
Keep your lamp full and save your oil for its intended purpose. Give as He gives you strength, but learn your limits. Show others, even your children as they grow and mature, how to draw their oil, their strength and wisdom from Jesus Himself. His oil never runs out.
We Must Live By His Timing…Not Ours
Timing is everything.
The five wise women were able to go into the celebration with the bridegroom because they had planned ahead to be ready when he arrived. They worked according to his timing, not theirs. The five foolish women missed their opportunity because they weren’t ready. Their timing was off.
Part of being a wise woman is being sensitive to God’s timing. Good opportunities often present themselves at inopportune times. We have to line ourselves up with what the Lord has brought our way instead of insisting He works on our timetable.
For example, for some reason, teenagers like to talk late at night. I’m sure there’s some scientific reason behind this phenomenon, but moms of teenagers don’t need to know the science behind it to know it’s true. My teenage son may have many opportunities during the day to talk to me and share his heart. Sometimes I can tell something is on his mind. He’s struggling with something. I’ll ask him if he wants to talk. More often than not the answer is, “No, I’m fine.” But mamas know. I could have a hour with him in the car. Does he want to share his heart with me? “No, I’m fine.” But as soon as night falls, and I’m ready to crawl into bed I hear, “Mama, do you have a minute?” His heart is open and he’s ready to talk. It’s not the best time for me. I’m so tired. I just want to go to sleep. But there’s no guarantee this opportunity will present itself again tomorrow. (And it if does it will probably be late at night anyway!). So, I submit myself to the Lord’s timing, not my own.
Keep your eyes open for His timing and be ready to adjust your own plans. Be willing to put aside your schedule when Jesus knocks on the door. A wise woman knows timing is everything.
Last Thoughts…
There is a great reward for a wise woman who prepares herself for her calling. Being a mother is tough. It’s the hardest job I’ve ever had or ever imagined. It pulls at the very fiber of your being. But the rewards are so worth it.
Remember, all you do here are earth is preparation for seeing Jesus face-to-face. You’re doing it for Him. It’s going to take longer than you thought, cost more than you were prepared to pay, and look different than you thought it would look. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. That’s just how life is.
It’s wise to make time for rest. Don’t feel guilty for resting, it’s vitally important if you want to make it to the end and not crash and burn. As moms, we are always giving and giving and giving. We have to spend time with Jesus. He fills us back up. It’s wise not to give out all your oil to those who can receive their own oil from Jesus, but just choose not to. You’re not helping them or yourself. Point them to Jesus. He has enough for both of you.
I hope these pearls of wisdom are a blessing to you as you await His coming.
“He who testifies to these things says, ‘Surely I am coming soon.’ Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!” – Revelation 22:20
God Bless!
© Audrey McCracken, 2022
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